I have so much stress and so much pressure that sometimes i feel that it weights me down. I have 2 jobs where people count on me to work hard and be on time and have a good attitude. But sometimes i just don't want to. I hate that i put on a fake face and pretend that everything is fine. Most times then none i smile because i have to. I'm a very good actress.. just sayin.
The little things in my life seem obsolete in terms of the big picture.
Horrible friends.. the people that read this know exactly who I'm talking about.. lets put it as if I talk to you, your good.
Guys (yes, that needs a line to it's self)
So much stress and pressure..
But somehow i have to believe that it will all work out.
I don't know what or who gives me this feeling but it's strong.
I apologize if this blog seems depressing or scrambled but its meant as a ... actually i don't apologize, this is me being real whether it's good or bad. I'm only human, as much as i want everything to be easy and blissful it's not going to be. And that's where i getting with, with the big picture.
Just because you thought the painting looked good, doesn't mean you can't look at it a different way.
Metaphor.. get used to it! :)
ANOTHER ISSUE:
I'm a very independent person and I don't need a man or anyone else to complete me. That's when the bad friends come in, a certain person who shall remain nameless who calls themselves my friend tried to hook me and her brother up long distance, again.. ok real story, it's long so here's the shorten..
I was dating this guy kinda sortof before he left for the air force and then we decided that we would see how we feel talking long distance. Then stuff was said, "Gauntlet's were thrown" and we decided that we would just "BE FRIENDS." which i was fine with. We talked again and then i gave him a second chance to be back together sort of, and now it's all fucked up (for a lack of a better term) he's coming back this month and to be honest i don't feel the same way about him that I've felt before. He thinks that everything is cool. I don't want to tell him all this over a ichat or skype! So yeah all of this adds to the stress and pressure.
Im to young to have to deal with all this shit for real! haha
but I felt like writing something else that was a little bit less depressing.
Anyways.. I have to get ready for work.. JOY!
Have a safe and happy week!
xoxo
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